6:15 AM Monday Morning, July 19th 2010.

and here i am wide wake,  i haven’t the slightest clue why im up or what. my sleep timetbale has been ripped to shreds. it’s me, my ipod, and this laptop.so i thought this was be a good time to get some stuff off my mind/heart

first off: i’m sorry that i wasn’t enough for you. i do so much for you, everything within reason/financially affordable you got. i don’t know what i did wrong, and in my personal opinion, i didn’t do anything. but hey whatever right? like i always say to you. “as long as your happy”. oh btw, i know that story you gave me is bullshit, so i question myself not only on my stupidity but your character.  at the beginning of the relationship, i swear we talked about this and careless use of the word love. yet you started tossing it around like a hand me down doll.  i know all about you breaking up with me for a douchebag, who ended up using you. and when that happened, who was the first person you came running back too? and like a retard i keep coming back thinking, ” maybe she’ll wise up and give this another shot”. but clearly i was/am wrong. seeing how you ditch our little plans to go hang out with another douchebag. but whatever right? like i said as long as it make you happy.

secondly, the laws of average is a lie. for those who don’t know what the laws of average is it’s like this:  in atlanta, the women here out number the males 2 maybe even 3- 1 and now since this the new established gay capital of world, straight males should have no problem at all getting a women down here also if you talk 5 girls 2 of them will go along with it, unless you are myself of course. i singlehandedly proved that law/theory wrong. for a day i asked out a total of 24 girls, out on a date. in gentlemanly matter also, i believe i said ” hey, i think you’re a amazing person and breathtakingly cute. and i was wondering if it was possible if we can get to know each other more” and believe it or not, all 24 of those girls said no. to sum up what just happened

i just proved that theory completely wrong, i don’t know how. everybody who knows me claims, im a pretty “amazing” person. so leaves me baffled. maybe someone can answer what’s going on?

thirdly,  it’s been 3-4 years since i moved to this hellhole called Atlanta, Georgia. and for those 3-4 years, i have suffered nothing but constant heartaches,betrayals, and disappointments . i could go on and play the  blame game until im on my deathbed, but it won’t get me anywhere. so i just let all of it fester, and build up and hide behind a mask of happiness.

fourthly, i have a court case in 2 hours to see if i keep my license or not. pretty much do or die at this point, without a license in this state you’re S.O.L and im not fortunate to have friends who drive, and the one who does drive really doesn’t like to come out to my side of town. so im pretty anxious to say the least.

well i’m going to atleast attempt to get some kind of rest.

later kids.

Fuck.

Buddy!!!

sup, how goes it? hows the not so hot topic going? well, texting only gets so far, so i decided to to write this. well i been thinking about you alot lately, for some really odd reason so we need to talk this out.

text me sometime?